Being betrayed can result in big trauma and emotions and possibly destroy an entire relationship, this is why trust is the core of relationships. Anyways, even in a romantic relationship, friendship or professional setting: infidelity can occur, and breach of trust can happen by a friend or colleague – guarding yourself and realigning trust is a fundamental move. In this article, we shall explore the value of boundaries formation after betrayal. These are practical steps you can follow to remain safe and protected.

Understanding Boundaries:

Boundaries serve invisibly as lines that demarcate limits within a certain relationship. They act as our role models and give clear indications as to how we want to be treated by others as well as how much abuse we can tolerate. By drawing a line, you are doing yourself and your health a favour, you are declaring what is acceptable for you and what will establish a balance between your emotions, physical and mental state.

The Importance of Boundaries After Betrayal:

Once someone gets on the receiving end of disloyalty, it becomes a natural inclination to become more open-minded and sceptical about the motives of other people. Fence-setting will not come back to anything without making boundaries first to get the impression that you have a safe place where you can get a sense of control over your life back. Boundaries make up a formidable shield, from behind which you can look and feel yourself whole and on point, as you explore your relationships with no vagueness and no lack of self-esteem.

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Practical Strategies for Setting Boundaries

1. Reflect on Your Needs: Pause for a while to discover what it is that you feel to have lost, and if you can see the betrayal and all that it stands for through a different perspective. What preferences in behaviour have you determined you won’t adopt moving forward? What boundaries would you need to set up so that your safety feelings and respect well-being are secured?

2. Communicate Clearly: State beautifully your boundaries to the people you know whether passively or aggressively. Share your emotions and needs using “I” phrases with no accusations, recriminations, or condemnations towards others. For instance, one can say “I need this space so I can figure out what has happened to me.” Rather than “You are required to give me some space.”

3. Be Consistent: Foremost, always enforce your boundaries by being assertive and if something happens encourage your people to confront your offenders. Penalize such boundary crossings and if required involve them in the process. The principle of constancy is essential for earning and keeping healthy boundaries.

4. Trust Your Instincts: Reliance on your gut feeling regarding where and who to say as far as boundaries are concerned is necessary. Whenever there is something that just does not sit correctly or feels right to you, follow your intuition and do things that can help keep yourself safe. Your limits are valid, and you deserve the respect of others who may choose to recognize those limits.

5. Seek Support: Create an atmosphere where the people around are responsible respect your boundaries and don’t infringe on your freedom. From your friends, a therapist, or any trusted family member, ask for support which will ease the process of setting boundaries and you will be able to get the necessary motivation too.

Defining the limits is an assertive movement for self-care and preservation of oneself, more so after the experience poses the occurrence of betrayal. Through setting forth boundaries and being clear on what you are capable of you are putting your value forward and protecting yourself from further deterioration. Be aware that consolidating borders is not a form of egoism but a condition for keeping decent relationships, as well as, for retaining your mental state. Trust yourself, express yourself with assertiveness and prioritize your wellbeing during the healing process too once you are ready for the journey of rebuilding trust and restoring relationships.

With strength and resilience,

Neerja Bhatnagar

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This is my 10th post of this month long writing challenge. You can read my other posts on this subject of Betrayal here.

Setting Boundaries: Protecting Yourself After Betrayal

Understanding Boundaries:

The Importance of Boundaries After Betrayal:

Practical Strategies for Setting Boundaries

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