Marriage has always been celebrated like a festival in Indian society, with a long-standing tradition. We represent a society where, just a couple of decades ago, the entire family and closest relatives would gather for ten to twelve days before the wedding. All rituals were performed with great joy and enthusiasm. Haldi, Mehndi, Sangeet, Bhath, and countless other ceremonies! Each day had its preparations, and different outfits were also decided for each event. The aroma of the dishes would spread far and wide. And how involved every relative was in making arrangements for the wedding. Chote phuphaji, who always loved to sit with halwai to keep an eye on how he uses the ingredients and check the taste. Tauji, who will take care of the “janwasa/ baraat ghar”, the place where baraat is supposed to stay. Taiji will guide the rituals. So on and so forth.
No matter how much one might deny it, the “dahej” was also prevalent. In essence, people from both the bride and groom’s sides spent more than they could afford on each wedding. Whether we consider it a display of wealth or a desire to spend lavishly on their children’s wedding, it was never deemed unusual. I am not discussing the evil practice of dowry but focusing on the happiness of an average middle-class family. It is also true that due to the breakdown of joint families, rising costs, and time constraints, the marriage celebrations have now been condensed into two to three days. However, barring a few exceptions, the showmanship has not diminished.
If I have to give an opinion, I would prefer a simple celebration with lots of fun, dressing up and rituals. I love ladies' sangeet with traditional songs the most. One thing, I would like to say is that one must spend within means and that is important.
When it comes to the middle class, a vast sky of dreams opens up. These are dreams that they strive to achieve through hard work and dedication and often do. However, they have not learned to be content. Their ambitions have no bounds, and as time progresses, their dreams grow even larger, making them struggle to fulfil the purpose of their lives. Sometimes, frustration and despair lead to depression, and they start feeling envious. They focus more on others than on themselves. It’s like feeling bad about a power outage at home but feeling slightly better if the neighbour’s power is also out. 😛
Our problem is that we quickly become sentimental about ourselves and judgmental about others. We are very aware of our sensitivities, but in the race to react to others, these sensitivities seem to disappear, and we do not hesitate to hurt the other party. The numerous objectionable posts about the Ambani family’s wedding fall into this category. Just like you have grand weddings, invite all your friends, and have music and dance, the same is happening here! What’s obscene about it? According to their status, they have friends who will be invited and will come. While we keep track of giving and receiving envelopes, their presence matters. Unimaginable gifts are also given.
There is no harm in healthy humour, but why feel bad seeing their lavish display? If you don’t like it, don’t watch it, but why feel insulted? This should be a matter of pride for us that global celebrities have gathered at an Indian industrialist’s home and are actively participating in their cultural programs.
Why don’t we remember that the immense wealth of the Ambani family did not come overnight but is the result of the long struggle of the late Shri Dhirubhai Ambani? We should respect the struggle that began with fifteen thousand rupees, a table, and three chairs. We should also respect the generation that has carried this legacy forward. We must recognize that despite reaching such heights, where people often become arrogant, the Ambani family has remained rooted. They have not forgotten their values. Their civility and behaviour teach us what it means to remain grounded at the peak! How to preserve the heritage of their ancestors. What it means to be humble and respectful to everyone! How to help everyone! Charity requires not only wealth but also a compassionate heart; this can also be understood from the humility and language of this family.
Why should we come under the pressure that now everyone will show off like this or that it will create more problems? They are doing their part of social service and working hard in business, so they are reaping the rewards. Who has stopped us from working hard? Apologies, but if we had the same amount of wealth, we would not pretend to be simple either! If we rise above politics and understand this, we might truly comprehend it, but we must overcome futile calculations and frustrations!
This is a time to offer blessings to a newlywed couple. Our values also suggest the same. Best wishes for the happiness, prosperity, good health, and excellent life of the newlyweds!
Wishing you both {Anant and Radhika} a togetherness for life time .
Neerja Bhatnagar
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